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Passionate Love, it's not by ~crazyeyedgirl:iconcrazyeyedgirl:



Trickle down the crevice
Flow through the machine
Heat up the power system
With a higher energy unseen.

Move her mind
Let the truth unwind.
Start the gears to turning
And her loving heart to burning.

Cause she yearns for the words she hasn?t spoken,
She longs for the truth she hasn?t told.
For all the love you can surrender,
But the friendship you can?t seem to send her.

For the love settles in the package
Stored in the special place of her heart
That tells the tale of a friendship
And an upstanding relationship never meant to start.

See the light in her eyes
She wants someone to confide in forever,
She wants your mind and soul
And in your heart she wants friendship to be the measure.

For in her love sensation doesn?t stand,
For the passion you insist,
See the care she throws your way
And to save it your longing do dismiss.
©2004-2008 ~crazyeyedgirl
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Submitted: Jul 6, 2004
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Author's Comments

Just a poem...kinda bad..ive had a little block lately :/

comments please

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~JLaursMan21:iconJLaursMan21: Jul 6, 2004, 12:34:50 PM
i like it... i think i can understand where you are coming from on this one. the event seems to have helped you past ur block

--
I'm the grand fuckin facilitator
=danielcraggs:icondanielcraggs: Jul 6, 2004, 12:46:13 PM
It's great apart from the very last line. The forced rhyme doesn't really work there. Apart from that, I love how you've created different images there, and used the idea of a power system/machine throughout. Very good :D

Dan :hug:

--
laughing stock
n.
1. Cattle with a sense of humour

Owner of ~akusclub
~abitwierd:iconabitwierd: Jul 7, 2004, 7:34:57 PM
i like it..i dont get the title...but thats ok... this makes me want to go write, so i think that i will!

--
The suspense is killing me. I hope it lasts. ~ Willy Wonka

love, sara :teddy:
~cluelessrockerchik:iconcluelessrockerchik: Jul 10, 2004, 5:48:53 PM
hey darling!!!!!! I like it, especially the second stanza, niiiice. :D
alright, I feel constructive, one thing you could change and it would make it sound great, even better than it does now:

For all the love you can surrender,
But the friendship you can?t seem to send her.

maybe on the last line in this, you can make it repeat, like:

For the friendship you cannot send her.

I dunno, that it, nice one dear!

--
:blowkiss: Spread the motherfucking love :heart:
~PorcelainFlower:iconPorcelainFlower: Jul 19, 2004, 6:21:52 PM
Wow...I can relate to that and I think it's a great piece...I love this part.

Cause she yearns for the words she hasn?t spoken,
She longs for the truth she hasn?t told.
For all the love you can surrender,
But the friendship you can?t seem to send her.


Amazing lauren! LOVE YOU

--
Sometimes in life you only get one chance...Sometimes it's now or never.

I wanna be the girl he sees in the hall, turns to his friends and says,"YEAH! That's her!"